I have been living overseas for over two years now. Most days I see poverty and suffering all around me and to be honest it becomes ‘normal’. It has become ‘normal’ for a young child to come up to me and stretch out their dirty little hands and ask for money. It has also become ‘normal’ for me to look into their sad, pleading eyes and say that I have nothing to give them. Some days I will stop and ask them their name or touch them so that they know that I care but giving them money is not always the right thing to do. But most of the time my ‘normal’ response is to say no and shoo them away.
It is ‘normal’ for me to see women carrying more than they should be able to handle on their heads with a baby strapped to their back and a couple more trailing behind her. I know that it is ‘normal’ for her to have six or eight children and have to try to find enough for them to eat every day. It’s ‘normal’ for a young girl to grow up with no education and no opportunities to discover the talents she may have. All she is expected to do by the age of 16 is to get married and start having children. Then she will follow in her mother’s footsteps of working from sunrise to sunset just trying to keep her family alive.
Today was not a ‘normal’ day. For some reason today I walked by a small women that made me realize that none of this is normal. There was something that hit me and reminded me of the suffering here. So I question why. Why do we live in a world where it is ‘normal’ for women to be raped and no one cares? Where it becomes an expected event to happen not just once but multiple times in a woman’s life. How do my days pass and I don’t think about the suffering that surrounds me. Well I have to say that I am thankful that not everyday is as heavy as today.
God has heard many of my questions today. I don’t know that I will ever understand His plans but I know that He is a God of love. How do I get a God of love out of all this suffering? Well I know this much, this messed up world is not what his intention was for us. But because He wants us to choose to love Him he also allows us to choose not to. I also know that one day all of this suffering will end. He has promised that one day there will be no more tears, no more suffering and no more pain because He walked this earth, died and concurred death so that one day He will not have to hear the cries of His children living in separation from Him.
So a little revelation of the pain that God sees everyday is really an amazing gift for me, but I’m thankful that God never gives us more than we can handle.
Welcome to the world beautiful Jessica Rae. I don't know what it is about my family but we seem to produce a lot of girls. My sister amazes me with her strength an ability to now look after three little girls under the age of three. I would rather deal with the janjaweed and Sudanese government than have to look after three little ones. Maybe that's just a reflection of different life stages. I was planning on being home for this birth but Jessica decided that she was going to come early. I'm a little disappointed but I know my sister is happy about it. But now the countdown is on 7 days and they could be the longest 7 days of my life. I'm so excited to get home I can barely handle it. This could be why this blog is so disjointed and now rambling. I think I better quit now 
