Wednesday, November 16, 2011

My Pregnant Pause

Pregnant Pause - A pause that gives the impression that it will be followed by something significant.

I don't think I could explain this time of life any better than that. My job here in Halifax was a one year contract that ended on November 4 which worked out perfectly to give me a few weeks to relax and of course pack. Thankfully the weather has been beautiful so I have been able to get out and get some exercise with the luxury of returning home and
having a nap. Everyday the simplest things such as putting on my shoes or picking up a few groceries gets harder and more tiring. It's hard to believe that I still have eight weeks to go. It seems like a long time but when you consider how much is happening in those eight weeks I know they will go quickly. So I am anxious to see this time pass and nervous about all the changes however I realize that this may be the last few weeks of my life where my time is my own and I am trying to enjoy them.

Other than small errands and tasks that I assign myself each day I have been filling my time with a lot of knitting. It is a hobby that I picked up years ago and was sustained by my commitment to make each of my nieces a baby blanket. Little did I expect my sister to have four children so just making blankets has been my focus over the years. So now that it is my turn to have the baby I of course had to make a baby blanket for my little bundle of joy. However it didn't seem to stop there. Of course will all the left over yarn I have also completed a few hats, a sweater and a few pairs of booties. It has been fun to knit for this little one and I am eager so see her wear them. I love hand made stuff. In returning to Canada and battling the consumerism battle I have gained a new appreciation for things that can be made by hand rather than purchased. I think it makes you appreciate the value of items and the real cost of them. So I am trying to knit my little heart out to make sure that we have plenty of hand made items to choose from in our daughters wardrobe.

While I knit I have been watching the news and the story of the occupiers unfold all over North America. It is such an interesting situation and I really waffle on how I feel about the whole thing. The message of those that are protesting often seems unclear however I think I can agree with some aspects of their fight. I think that Canadians have to be careful that we are not complacent to how our government is operating and what interests they are protecting. We all find it very easy to sit back and enjoy a comfortable and safe lifestyle and question very little until we hit a bump in the road and then we start to wonder how we could have been so blind to what is really happening. This occupy movement is giving us all the opportunity to be more aware of what our government is representing and realizing that it is not always representing Canadian citizens. Sometimes I feel like we have become so focused on our economy and material wealth that we have become consumers rather than citizens. Is the health of our economy really to take priority over the holistic health of our community or family? Is a successful country really one that is wealthy no matter the cost to it's environment, it's future or it's friends? Sometimes thinking on such a large scale is hard to grasp however if you boil this down to an individual basis it's easier to really consider the direction Canada may be going. It is not uncommon to hear stories of people that had considerable wealth and were extremely successful in business however only a handful of people show up to their funeral when they die. Was their life really a success? That is kind of how I think about a country and the importance it puts on it's wealth. If we bow to the economy and run our country based on the desire to be wealthy and to have a strong economy what happens when all that wealth actually is the cause of our troubles? So when our drinking water is contaminated and our recent grads can't get jobs because we import all our goods but our economy stays strong is this really a country we would be proud of? As you can see I have more questions than answers but I do know that as Canadian citizens (not consumers) we need to be careful in the comfort that this country has provided for us so that future generations can also have access to these same comforts and freedoms and that we don't rob them of this due to our greed and short sightedness. As you can see I have more questions than answers and I realize I am not a great Canadian to be saying these things since I intend to live in another country but still, it has all made me ponder some of Canada's struggles.

So I am in the midst of my pause and realizing that many changes are upon us in the months to come. I am thankful for this time to enjoy the rolls and kicks of this little girl and to prepare for what is to come. I don't think I will ever be ready for this but it's going to all happen if I am or not. Calgary in 3 1/2 weeks!